By clicking here I acknowledge that this website is completely satirical, and that it's not optimized for mobile because no one in their right mind would put actual effort into this shit. I will not hold Methyl accountable for any injuries sustained from viewing this website, for I am doing this of my own volition and he is not forcing me to click this link. I am also aware of the fact that this website looks bad. And it'll make you feel bad to look at, because it's that bad.